One of the things that Jesus laid on my heart as I was preparing for this trip was that I need to take some time to write my story... write it all out, get it all on paper. Why?... I'm not really sure. I just know that I think I heard His whisper and I think that's what He said... and I think I'd like to do it. I haven't started yet, but I hope I will... soon.
This afternoon, I was sitting out on my balcony... clear blue sky, sun shining, light breeze, the hills standing out there as clear and strong as ever... pretty much a perfect day. And I stumbled on these verses almost by accident.
"Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms,
but they did not know that I had healed them.
I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love,
and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws,
and I bent down to them and fed them."
~Hosea 11:3-4
I almost shouted out loud-- that's it! that's my story!! that's what Jesus did for me! So I think I'll start right there...
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
my German neighbors
To celebrate the completion of the final day of the second week of class, our group got together tonight for a meal of Turkish kabaps and a movie. I left the movie early and returned home to find Konrad, my downstairs German neighbor, outside tending his gardens. Konrad is an avid gardener and every beautiful flower on the property is completely his doing. I enjoy his handiwork every day, and I take every opportunity I can to tell him so. As I was walking up the path tonight to return home, he gestured to me and turned to say something to his wife Helga... he then motioned that I should join them in their yard. As I did so, he pointed to his barbeque and asked if I would like to join he and Helga for dinner. I had already eaten one dinner, but I could not and would not turn down this invitation!
So tonight I sat at Konrad and Helga's front porch picnic table and enjoyed a second dinner of bratwurst, tomatoes, and wine (they pronounce it "veen"... always cracks me up!). It was both a precious and hilarious experience... as I sat there contemplating how I could force 7 sausages into my already full stomach (yes, they gave me 7 sausages!), and how I would manage to drink the glasses of red wine that they kept refilling for me! Oh my, I can't usually drink more than 1 glass of wine in a sitting... but what can you do when you don't even know how to politely refuse in a language you don't understand? It was hilarious. Helga could tell that I enjoyed her tomatoes and kept telling me to eat alles... all of them--the whole plate! I puffed out my cheeks, gestured that I was stuffed, and said danke schoen ("thank you"). They then invited me into their home and showed me all of their photos from their trips this past year to Italy and Switzerland.
It was beautiful. I don't understand much German at all. They know a bit more English than my German... but our conversation was still choppy at best. But we're still God's creation, made in His image... and somehow as different as we are, we still get and enjoy each other. I found myself sitting in Konrad and Helga's apartment, speaking in halting sentences, looking at all of their photos, and thanking Jesus for the opportunity to share this time with them.
I love my home and I love my friends and family... they are the nearest and dearest to my heart. But tonight I have been struck by the fellowship available with people who don't know your language, your history, your heritage, your culture, or anything about your life. They are just simple, hospitable, kind people who offer for me to share in their dinner of bratwurst, tomatoes, and veen... but yet I enjoy it and enjoy them so much. The image of God is a beautiful thing. It was one of those moments in which I wish I had my camera to capture it forever.
So tonight I sat at Konrad and Helga's front porch picnic table and enjoyed a second dinner of bratwurst, tomatoes, and wine (they pronounce it "veen"... always cracks me up!). It was both a precious and hilarious experience... as I sat there contemplating how I could force 7 sausages into my already full stomach (yes, they gave me 7 sausages!), and how I would manage to drink the glasses of red wine that they kept refilling for me! Oh my, I can't usually drink more than 1 glass of wine in a sitting... but what can you do when you don't even know how to politely refuse in a language you don't understand? It was hilarious. Helga could tell that I enjoyed her tomatoes and kept telling me to eat alles... all of them--the whole plate! I puffed out my cheeks, gestured that I was stuffed, and said danke schoen ("thank you"). They then invited me into their home and showed me all of their photos from their trips this past year to Italy and Switzerland.
It was beautiful. I don't understand much German at all. They know a bit more English than my German... but our conversation was still choppy at best. But we're still God's creation, made in His image... and somehow as different as we are, we still get and enjoy each other. I found myself sitting in Konrad and Helga's apartment, speaking in halting sentences, looking at all of their photos, and thanking Jesus for the opportunity to share this time with them.
I love my home and I love my friends and family... they are the nearest and dearest to my heart. But tonight I have been struck by the fellowship available with people who don't know your language, your history, your heritage, your culture, or anything about your life. They are just simple, hospitable, kind people who offer for me to share in their dinner of bratwurst, tomatoes, and veen... but yet I enjoy it and enjoy them so much. The image of God is a beautiful thing. It was one of those moments in which I wish I had my camera to capture it forever.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
a day with Henri
Today is my day off... and it is wonderful. I love days off. It is now 11:15am... and I have already done two great things so far-- I have slept in (yes!!) and I have made myself a real omelet with eggs right from a German hen, tomatoes straight from the garden, and real Swiss cheese. It was great.
But my best plan for the day is still to come. I went through a hard time this past year and was surprised to find an old friend join me on my journey. For Christmas, I was given a book called The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri Nouwen. I immediately started reading the book and was astounded by the way that he seemed to understand my story, share my sadness, and offer me beautiful hope. I have clung to that book for many months... and I have been thankful for the author of it.
Well, during last weekend in the Alps, I picked up another Henri book and began reading the first few pages of Life of the Beloved. I was amazed to find that during the writing of that book, Henri lived in a small city in Germany called Freiburg... and guess what? It just so happens that the closest city to where I currently live is... FREIBURG!! So today, in this great day off, I am going to drive to Freiburg and spend the day with Henri. I know he is now dead, but I'm going to imagine that he isn't. I'm going to picture him walking those old streets and imagine what life might have been like for him during the writing of that book. And I might even find myself a cozy corner in one of the 3 Starbucks in that city and read more of his book.
I really believe that Henri Nouwen walked with God... God knows that I want to walk with Him too... maybe if I go to the city where Henri Nouwen actually walked... well, it might be pretty amazing. Who knows how God might just show up?
OK, I have some dishes to wash and clothes to put away... but then it's off to Freiburg for me!
But my best plan for the day is still to come. I went through a hard time this past year and was surprised to find an old friend join me on my journey. For Christmas, I was given a book called The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri Nouwen. I immediately started reading the book and was astounded by the way that he seemed to understand my story, share my sadness, and offer me beautiful hope. I have clung to that book for many months... and I have been thankful for the author of it.
Well, during last weekend in the Alps, I picked up another Henri book and began reading the first few pages of Life of the Beloved. I was amazed to find that during the writing of that book, Henri lived in a small city in Germany called Freiburg... and guess what? It just so happens that the closest city to where I currently live is... FREIBURG!! So today, in this great day off, I am going to drive to Freiburg and spend the day with Henri. I know he is now dead, but I'm going to imagine that he isn't. I'm going to picture him walking those old streets and imagine what life might have been like for him during the writing of that book. And I might even find myself a cozy corner in one of the 3 Starbucks in that city and read more of his book.
I really believe that Henri Nouwen walked with God... God knows that I want to walk with Him too... maybe if I go to the city where Henri Nouwen actually walked... well, it might be pretty amazing. Who knows how God might just show up?
OK, I have some dishes to wash and clothes to put away... but then it's off to Freiburg for me!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
begin with a Berliner
My last few days here have been flying by. I guess days--especially busy ones--have a tendency to do that. But in the busyness, I don't want to miss the little things... the things I love. After talking with a dear friend tonight, I decided to start writing about those things... the goofy, special, fun, or whatever things... just the THINGS about being in another country that I especially enjoy.
So... here's # 1. Tomorrow is my long day. I take one day each week and work ALL day... and tomorrow is it! But I have decided that I want to begin the day right with a cultural experience that I really love. There is no Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks or Wawas here. Nope... instead, there is a grocery store with a bakery right inside the door. And they make the most amazing coffee su mit namen ("to take away"). I love it! So tomorrow, to begin my long day, I am going to walk to the bakery and say "ein latte macchiato su mit namen bitte" ("one latte to take away please"). This bakery also makes the most amazing jelly donuts I have ever tasted-- called "Berliners." I think I will order "ein Berliner bitte" as well. I could be economical and eat my trusty bowl of Special K (I did find Special K here!!), but tomorrow is my long day... I think it's a good day for a Berliner. =)
Berliners taste so good that I could eat one every day if I let myself! But I don't. =) The last time I ordered one was on Saturday morning... Myself and my two companions piled into the car to make our 2 hour drive to the Alps. About 1 kilometer down the road, I bit into my Berliner (while driving), and the jelly shot out of the Berliner and into my hand. And then somehow in trying to clean it up, I got it on my other hand too! I learned that it's very difficult to drive a car with two hands covered in jelly. So we weren't even out of town yet when I had to pull over and clean myself up... get myself un-sticky. It's a funny memory. =)
So tomorrow to begin my long day, I will go to the bakery and get a latte and a Berliner... and I will be sure to have napkins nearby for when I take my first bite. =)
So... here's # 1. Tomorrow is my long day. I take one day each week and work ALL day... and tomorrow is it! But I have decided that I want to begin the day right with a cultural experience that I really love. There is no Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks or Wawas here. Nope... instead, there is a grocery store with a bakery right inside the door. And they make the most amazing coffee su mit namen ("to take away"). I love it! So tomorrow, to begin my long day, I am going to walk to the bakery and say "ein latte macchiato su mit namen bitte" ("one latte to take away please"). This bakery also makes the most amazing jelly donuts I have ever tasted-- called "Berliners." I think I will order "ein Berliner bitte" as well. I could be economical and eat my trusty bowl of Special K (I did find Special K here!!), but tomorrow is my long day... I think it's a good day for a Berliner. =)
Berliners taste so good that I could eat one every day if I let myself! But I don't. =) The last time I ordered one was on Saturday morning... Myself and my two companions piled into the car to make our 2 hour drive to the Alps. About 1 kilometer down the road, I bit into my Berliner (while driving), and the jelly shot out of the Berliner and into my hand. And then somehow in trying to clean it up, I got it on my other hand too! I learned that it's very difficult to drive a car with two hands covered in jelly. So we weren't even out of town yet when I had to pull over and clean myself up... get myself un-sticky. It's a funny memory. =)
So tomorrow to begin my long day, I will go to the bakery and get a latte and a Berliner... and I will be sure to have napkins nearby for when I take my first bite. =)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
a twitching eye and a puffy eye
i'll be leaving on wednesday to go overseas for a little more than five weeks. i prayed about a month ago that God would wave His big "peace be still" hands over my life for the next month... and let the planning for this trip be SMOOTH. the past semester had been a hard and BUSY one, and i just felt too exhausted to handle anything beyond "smooth."
well, it didn't exactly happen! there have been quite a few unexpected "bumps" during the past month... i've done my best to navigate as best i can, but it hasn't been easy. God, though, is funny. at just the right time, when i'm ready to rip my own hair out (or someone else's!), He shows up in some way... and i'm reminded that i'll be fine.
today, though, i had enough! i woke up from a nap this afternoon and i looked in the mirror... and i could tell that all was not well. my left eye has already been twitching on and off for about a week... i think, because i just took a full 30 hour class in 3 days, on top of trying to get ready for a big trip! (enough to make any eye twitch, maybe?!). well, i woke up from my nap to find that not only was my left eye twitching, but my right eye was half-closed... very puffy and half-closed (i think in an allergic reaction to my friend's cat)!
i found myself haunted by images of myself on an airplane with big, puffy eyes... walking around overseas with big, puffy, twitching eyes! i could feel panic rising... so i sat there and i looked up to heaven with my left twitching eye and my right puffy eye, and i talked to Jesus. and i gave up... and i told Him that i would trust Him. and i remind myself tonight that all is well because i have a really good God and a really good Father. i continue to learn through unexpected ways that He really is entirely faithful. so tonight i give Him my eyes... and i give Him my heart... and i give Him the next 5 weeks... i give Him all of it... because i know that He is worthy of my trust.
and He tells me now that it's time to put on a good movie and go to bed and give my twitching eye and my puffy eye a rest. and i gratefully oblige. =)
well, it didn't exactly happen! there have been quite a few unexpected "bumps" during the past month... i've done my best to navigate as best i can, but it hasn't been easy. God, though, is funny. at just the right time, when i'm ready to rip my own hair out (or someone else's!), He shows up in some way... and i'm reminded that i'll be fine.
today, though, i had enough! i woke up from a nap this afternoon and i looked in the mirror... and i could tell that all was not well. my left eye has already been twitching on and off for about a week... i think, because i just took a full 30 hour class in 3 days, on top of trying to get ready for a big trip! (enough to make any eye twitch, maybe?!). well, i woke up from my nap to find that not only was my left eye twitching, but my right eye was half-closed... very puffy and half-closed (i think in an allergic reaction to my friend's cat)!
i found myself haunted by images of myself on an airplane with big, puffy eyes... walking around overseas with big, puffy, twitching eyes! i could feel panic rising... so i sat there and i looked up to heaven with my left twitching eye and my right puffy eye, and i talked to Jesus. and i gave up... and i told Him that i would trust Him. and i remind myself tonight that all is well because i have a really good God and a really good Father. i continue to learn through unexpected ways that He really is entirely faithful. so tonight i give Him my eyes... and i give Him my heart... and i give Him the next 5 weeks... i give Him all of it... because i know that He is worthy of my trust.
and He tells me now that it's time to put on a good movie and go to bed and give my twitching eye and my puffy eye a rest. and i gratefully oblige. =)
Monday, May 23, 2011
voices of truth
I had the blessing of spending this weekend in the woods with some friends. My very favorite part of the weekend was all of the time that we spent around the fire. Our campsite was on a lake... so between the reflection on the lake, the starry sky, and the warmth of the campfire, I started imaging heaven. Friends, laughter, fellowship, quiet, beauty... I just loved it.
Before we departed on Sunday morning, we spent some time passing the Bible around the fire, each sharing from our favorite Psalms. It was beautiful... and so meaningful. I loved how the Psalms that spoke to THEM, also spoke to ME. It was like Jesus saying, "Daughter, you need to hear this. Take it in. Listen. Be encouraged by your friends and by Me." And so I was...
"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all Your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known your might among the peoples. You with Your arm redeemed Your people."
~Psalm 77
"I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
~Psalm 34
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
~Psalm 23
"He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place--the Most High, who is my refuge--no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. 'Because he holds fast to Me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows My name. When he calls to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.'"
~Psalm 91
Sometimes the Word of God just speaks and there is no mistaking it. And as I was turning the pages of my Bible just now to find and type these Psalms, I could still smell the campfire in the pages. I love it. =)
Before we departed on Sunday morning, we spent some time passing the Bible around the fire, each sharing from our favorite Psalms. It was beautiful... and so meaningful. I loved how the Psalms that spoke to THEM, also spoke to ME. It was like Jesus saying, "Daughter, you need to hear this. Take it in. Listen. Be encouraged by your friends and by Me." And so I was...
"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all Your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known your might among the peoples. You with Your arm redeemed Your people."
~Psalm 77
"I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
~Psalm 34
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
~Psalm 23
"He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place--the Most High, who is my refuge--no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. 'Because he holds fast to Me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows My name. When he calls to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.'"
~Psalm 91
Sometimes the Word of God just speaks and there is no mistaking it. And as I was turning the pages of my Bible just now to find and type these Psalms, I could still smell the campfire in the pages. I love it. =)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
may i never forget the gospel...
"The crucified Christ is not merely a heroic example to the church: he is the power and wisdom of God, a living force in his present risenness, transforming our lives and enabling us to extend the hand of reconciliation to our enemies."
~Brennan Manning
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