coming out to play

Sometimes old habits die hard... and it's a good thing. I have a favorite old habit... before I went back to school and turned into a crazy person, I had a special Saturday morning routine-- I would sleep in, roll out of bed, throw on my clothes, go to Dunkin Donuts and buy a donut and coffee, and then just DRIVE. I would drive and drive and drive... and I never knew where I was going... and that was the part that I loved most. A couple of times I ended up at the shore and had no idea how I got there. Once, I discovered a lake and felt like a real explorer. I remember driving through Fort Dix a few times too... and I don't think you're really ALLOWED to do that... but somehow I did. I even remember driving through very scary woods and coming upon a prison... that was still in use. I turned my car around really fast!

I used to love those times... I'm a pretty deep thinker and I sort of wither if I don't get my thoughts OUT. So I would drive... and somehow the open, unknown roads would pull my thoughts to the surface and I would talk about them with Jesus. And it was just so FUN. The more unknown the road, the better. I just loved it, and somehow, I never got lost.

Well... last night, my plans fell through and I found myself with nothing to do... so I stopped to get a sandwich and a soda (since it was night time) and I just started driving. There was a part of the county just north of us that I'd been wanting to explore... so I drove around and around in it. Only this time I cheated... I had my GPS and I made SURE that I did not get lost!

Those were good times, and I realized how much I've been missing those good times in this currently full schedule that I've been keeping. There's too much RICHNESS and too much GOD in life to just run from one thing to the next... without taking the time to open up, savor, and experience LIFE and GOD in the moment. I am speaking from old experience... because I used to know this far better than I do now. It reminds me of something that Brennan Manning said, "When you get to heaven, Abba will not ask you how much work you did or what grades you got. Nope. He'll say, 'Did you enjoy the fajita that I left for you?'" I'm quite sure that God leaves little fajitas for me in unexpected places every day... and I want to see them.

Brennan Manning talks about another encounter that he had with Jesus, when he was apologizing and beating himself up for his mistakes and failings... and in the middle of his recitation, Jesus interrupted him and said, "Stop that. Come on out and play." I love that... and I love how it calls me to let go of the millions of things that are outside of my control... to find and eat the fajitas that are offered to me... and to run outside and play.

And if I start to forget, well, I can always jump in my car, drive to Dunkin Donuts for my coffee and my donut, and start driving around to remember. And I can always ask Jesus... I think that when it comes to running outside and playing, He knows how to do it best.