keep your socks up, Chooch!

i think he's something like 8 for 8 with his socks up... we'll take it!!

meaning of a name

...you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will give. (Isaiah 62:2)

one of my favorite things about the Lord is the way that He re-names and re-makes us. yesterday, i was in a class on multiculturalism in counseling.  we were talking about names and histories and where we come from and we all shared a little bit about ourselves.  i was reminded of my new name, and now, 24 hours later, i'm still stuck in wonder at the whole thing.

my given name-- Bethany Joy-- has kind of a funny story behind it.  if you look up the Greek meaning of Bethany, mostly you'll find statements like 'house of poverty' or 'house of figs.'  not the most inspiring of meanings!  sort of depressing actually.  i think my parents knew the meaning of my name and wanted to balance the 'poverty' with something a little more positive... so 'joy' is my middle name.  at least this is the thought process they have explained to me!

but i believe that names do mean something... should mean something.  so i felt kind of stuck and sad when i realized that poverty and figs were really all that i could boast of.  it just didn't sound too special... and i so wanted it to be special.  it's good that 'joy' was a part of the equation too... or i might have despaired!

but i'll never forget the day about 5 years ago when Jesus changed my name.  i remember that it was a period of my life when Jesus was working in me like crazy... old beliefs about Him and myself were just falling apart left and right, being replaced by a powerful, fresh, new understanding and who He really is and who i am in Him.  it was a wonderful, wonderful time... probably one of the most shaping times of my entire life.

my best friend was pregnant with her first son, and i still remember one day when we were at work.  she wanted to look up baby name websites to find meanings of names for her son.  so we did... we looked up a ton of names... and then, for fun, we looked up the meaning of her name and her husband's, etc.  and then she wanted to look up my name.  i said 'no'... i already know it means poverty and figs.  not fun... i didn't want to be reminded again.  but she insisted.  so we typed 'bethany' and then... Jesus took over.  on the screen, my name appeared with a Greek meaning beside it... one that i had never seen before.

house of... life.  yes.  life.


for someone who had lived for so many years afraid of life, it was an incredibly profound and incredibly meaningful moment.  i have no doubt in my mind that on that day, Jesus re-named me.  'you're meant for life, daughter.  you're meant for joy.  don't ever forget.'  the poverty and figs were long gone.  life took over... joy took over.  i was a new girl.

but unfortunately, i think i did forget.  life isn't always easy... sometimes, circumstances sort of beat you up.  and even though you try for the life of you to hold on to everything that you know to be true, life can just feel pretty confusing sometimes.  i went through a few times like that... and in my confusion, i struggled to remember my name.  who did Jesus say i am again?  sometimes, it seemed too distant too remember.

then, this summer, He re-named me again.  a dear professor and friend traveled to Germany this summer where i was working and we got to spend a lot of time talking about the Lord.  it was an incredible blessing to me.  being a Greek scholar, he can easily trace many words back to their meaning.  and one day we started talking about my name.  and he said, 'oh bethany, your name has a really cool meaning.'  'it does??'  'oh yes, it does.'  according to him, 'beth' means 'house'... which i already knew.  but it's the second half that got me.  i learned that 'any' is actually a Greek preposition that means 'my.'  so according to my Greek friend, bethany means 'my house.'

'my' house.  His.

oh my word.  again, complete re-naming!  'daughter, in case you forgot who you are, you're mine.  i live in you... and i really like it there.  you live in me too.  you belong to me and i belong to you.'  what this means to me is that i have a place of belonging... a Someone who steps strongly into my life, picks me up, claims me and says 'you're mine.'  i have a Someone.  i'm His.  i don't mean that to sound corny... because believe me... to me, it was revolutionary.

i'm incredibly, incredibly grateful that over the past 5 years, i have moved from poverty and figs... to life to joy to being His. on this side of seeing Him face to face, i can bet i will again go through times of forgetting--'who am i again?  i can't remember!'  but i long with every part of my heart to stick close to my Creator, Savior, Redeemer... to incline my ear to hear His voice... to continue being marked and changed and re-named by what He says.


what does your name mean to you?  i'd love to know...  please feel free to comment about it here. =)

here's to life...

I think I've been sort of living on the serious side lately.  When I turn to my blog and write new posts, they end up sounding pretty serious so I haven't post many of them!  I really love writing about the things that I enjoy--upcoming camping trips to the woods, a Phillies team that is taking over way more of my life than I ever thought possible (and now bringing me a ton of anxiety!), the new puppy that I want to buy, my ever- increasing love for country music, the list of 'weekend trips' that I am forming and my plan to attack one new place each weekend (forget school work!!), my excitement about spending time with people in my life, forming new relationships and deepening old relationships.

Shoot, I LOVE those things!  I start talking about them... and I can hardly stop talking about them!  They make the fun and adventure in me to spring alive... I fill with excitement at all of the endless opportunities in front of me.  But the 'seriousness' in me has felt sort of big lately too.  So much has come in just the past couple of months--I turned 30, my best friend moved to another state, I fought bare-handedly with the issue of forgiveness, I wrestled with the meaning of community in my life, I put on my big girl shoes and began co-leading a counseling class, I now mark papers and find myself a student and an instructor at the same time... very cool but very weird.

A million transitions.  A million emotions.  A million tiny movements in my heart.  A million questions.  A million prayers to Jesus to minister to me in my sadness, take away my fears, deepen my relationships with Him and others, and continue to enlarge my desire to engage my world and the people around me with joy.

And it's happening.  It really is.  There are certainly moments when I forget about the Phillies, country music, and my love for people and traveling... because the 'bigness' or what's ahead of me takes over and feels TOO big.  But then there's other moments when an incredible light pierces the darkness and I can hear the Holy Spirit's whispers... that I'm fine, that my transitions are normal, that I will continue to be surprised by supernatural strength and empowering in each moment.  And then I breathe a sigh of relief and get really excited and thankful that the transitions are taking me to good places that I probably can't even fathom!

So here's to life!  The fun, the adventure, the relationships, and the seriousness.  Here's to taking each moment one at a time, living it deeply, meeting people in it, letting them impact me, and trusting Jesus to speak to me and walk with me.  Here's to letting go just a little bit more and letting the road rise up to meet me, the sun shine warmly on my face, the rain fall softly on my fields (even though I don't have fields!), and letting God hold me safely in His hands (an Irish blessing I've always loved.) I really like that place the most.

Him

Revelation is totally striking me again...



I want to know Him so much here... that when I actually get to see Him with my own eyes, I will already know Him.  No introductions needed... just the great big Jesus-bear hug that I've been dreaming of for a really long time.

home

I've been reading the book of Revelation this summer... it's been slow-coming and I've sort of approached it with more incredulity than enthusiasm.  But I'm now approaching the end of the book, and I confess that I don't know much more than I did before I began. It's incredibly complex... but incredibly beautiful.  Today, I was reading about the "holy city," the "New Jerusalem" and I find myself absolutely transfixed...

...God will live with me, right in my neighborhood

...I will not cry or be sad or disappointed because God Himself will come to me and brush tears away from my eyes with His own fingers

...the old system of things will fade away and all things will be new!

...the pure radiance and beauty of Jesus will be seen and light up the entire city

....the walls will be constructed of ALL of the most beautiful, breathtaking colors that I could ever know

...I will not feel the need to go to church to meet Jesus or Starbucks to get away for quiet time... because God Himself will be right there with me always.
(Rev. 21)

The New Jerusalem speaks to all of the longings of my soul...  

A home that is mine where I never feel alone.  

A freedom to live and love without fear of being hurt.  

A fellowship that is forever with no need to say good-bye.  

A beauty that is always a part of the world and does not need to be sought to be found.
A God who walks with me and sits with me and speaks to me and grabs me and holds me in His arms and uses His own finger to wipe away my tears.  

It sounds too beautiful to be real... but that must be the beauty of eternity.  One day, it will be real... and it will be ours.  And we'll see and feel and experience everything that we ever longed for in all of its fullness.  I can't imagine it.  I so long for it.

This offers me such hope when I face suffering and disappointment in the present world... 

our outer nature is wasting away but our inner nature is being renewed day by day.  this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.

... so we do not lose heart. (2 Cor. 4)

Amen.  Come, Lord Jesus.

once-in-a-lifetime friend

To a million heart-to-hearts, a trillion cups of coffee, and the greatest friend a girl could ever have...

"May the LORD bless you and keep you;

the LORD make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;

the LORD lift up His countenance upon you

and give you peace."

I'm deeply, deeply grateful for what's been and I look forward with excitement to what's to come.  With Jesus at the lead, I can't begin to imagine what the future will look like... I just know that you'll be in it!

Godspeed.  Go with Him... 

a tribute to coffee and the phils

Have you ever thought about how certain aspects of your life can become a bit more obvious when other people are experiencing them with you?  It can be a really funny (and enlightening!) experience.

A dear friend came to visit me a couple of weeks ago from England.  She told me from the beginning that one of the things she wanted to do while here was just to "live my life with me."  While we did some great sight-seeing and went to some special events, much of her time here was just spent with me, joining me in my "normal" life.  We had a great time, and I learned some valuable things about myself through her visit...

1. I am much more of a Phillies fan than I ever knew.  Debbie visited me for 4 whole days, and in that span, I realized that I wore 3 different Phillies shirts.  We listened to portions of games on the radio in the car... we watched innings on tv before we watched the movies that we meant to be watching.  In my excitement, I told her all about my favorite players and explained more about the rules of the game than I think she ever asked to know!  Also, every day I couldn't really begin my day until I visited "phillies.com" and caught myself up on all of the latest Phillies news.  I never knew that I could be such a fan.  But I am... I love those Phillies... and I secretly hoped that Debbie would come out of the experience a Phillies fan as well.  So I need to ask... did it work, Debbie? ;)

2. I also learned--and this was not such a huge surprise!--that I really, really love coffee.  Debbie and I gave up counting how many times we pulled my car into Dunkin Donuts during her short visit.  It became a well-accepted joke between us that Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks were becoming our homes away from home.  We went to Starbucks whenever we could... and we went to Dunkin Donuts whenever we couldn't find Starbucks.  We sort of structured our whole New York City trip around Starbucks.  We made sure that we went to Dunkin Donuts every day before work.  I so enjoyed having a friend who loved the coffee trips as much as I did (you did... right, Debbie? ;). 

And then... I discovered that my behaviors continued into last week when I flew up to Maine to visit my parents.

1. I walked out of the plane into the Bangor airport wearing my "my heart belongs to the Phillies" shirt and was met by cheers of "go Phillies"!  I smiled and cheered right along with them.  I paid money to be able to watch the games on my parents' computer in Maine, and I stayed up late to watch those games since the Phils were playing in Los Angeles.  I continued my practice of reading the Phillies news every morning, and I would then give my dad a full report on the best pitchers and hitters, who was playing well and who wasn't, etc.  I'm not sure if he enjoyed my daily reports as much as I did... but for me, it was fun!

2. On Sunday afternoon after church, I had such a craving for an iced coffee that I willingly (and happily!) drove one hour each way to the nearest Dunkin Donuts to my parents' house in Maine.  Only the dog would join me in the car... I think my parents thought I was crazy.  But nevertheless, I returned quite satisfied.

So... I'm learning about myself that I enjoy coffee and the Phillies much more than I ever knew.  I remember the words of James, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights." It is good for life to be filled with good things, and I gobble up these gifts with gratitude. =)

And I think that when I get to heaven, Jesus will be waiting for me with a big cup of coffee, a Phils cap, and a smile.