I think I've been sort of living on the serious side lately. When I turn to my blog and write new posts, they end up sounding pretty serious so I haven't post many of them! I really love writing about the things that I enjoy--upcoming camping trips to the woods, a Phillies team that is taking over way more of my life than I ever thought possible (and now bringing me a ton of anxiety!), the new puppy that I want to buy, my ever- increasing love for country music, the list of 'weekend trips' that I am forming and my plan to attack one new place each weekend (forget school work!!), my excitement about spending time with people in my life, forming new relationships and deepening old relationships.
Shoot, I LOVE those things! I start talking about them... and I can hardly stop talking about them! They make the fun and adventure in me to spring alive... I fill with excitement at all of the endless opportunities in front of me. But the 'seriousness' in me has felt sort of big lately too. So much has come in just the past couple of months--I turned 30, my best friend moved to another state, I fought bare-handedly with the issue of forgiveness, I wrestled with the meaning of community in my life, I put on my big girl shoes and began co-leading a counseling class, I now mark papers and find myself a student and an instructor at the same time... very cool but very weird.
A million transitions. A million emotions. A million tiny movements in my heart. A million questions. A million prayers to Jesus to minister to me in my sadness, take away my fears, deepen my relationships with Him and others, and continue to enlarge my desire to engage my world and the people around me with joy.
And it's happening. It really is. There are certainly moments when I forget about the Phillies, country music, and my love for people and traveling... because the 'bigness' or what's ahead of me takes over and feels TOO big. But then there's other moments when an incredible light pierces the darkness and I can hear the Holy Spirit's whispers... that I'm fine, that my transitions are normal, that I will continue to be surprised by supernatural strength and empowering in each moment. And then I breathe a sigh of relief and get really excited and thankful that the transitions are taking me to good places that I probably can't even fathom!
So here's to life! The fun, the adventure, the relationships, and the seriousness. Here's to taking each moment one at a time, living it deeply, meeting people in it, letting them impact me, and trusting Jesus to speak to me and walk with me. Here's to letting go just a little bit more and letting the road rise up to meet me, the sun shine warmly on my face, the rain fall softly on my fields (even though I don't have fields!), and letting God hold me safely in His hands (an Irish blessing I've always loved.) I really like that place the most.
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