a great big rest

i feel like my speed of life lately has pretty much been "mach."  i've been realizing lately that the concepts of "rest" and "stillness" only seem faintly familiar to me... i can't really remember what they feel like!  it is time for me to rest... really... a big, deep, soulful rest.  only i can't yet.  i have to finish my paper.  but it is due monday-- 4 days away from today.  4 days until i can rest... how wonderful.

i have made a resolution with myself.  it is spring... and spring is beautiful... and i just want to drink it in.  REALLY drink it in.  and rest for me is being able to live life at a slow enough pace that i really can drink in what is before me.  i think that God puts His fingerprints all over so much of what is normal life for us... but to me, it doesn't have to be "normal."  even "normal" life can be revolutionary when you can see the Lord in it.

so my resolution to myself is to be kind to myself in my weariness... rest... enjoy... wear my Cliff Lee shirt and watch the Phillies and cheer really loud... take a walk through my town and stare at the strange architecture of every old house on the street if i want... go camping and just SIT by the fire... sit on the back porch and LISTEN to the evening... walk the long way on a lazy afternoon to my neighborhood coffee shop and order their "snowflake latte" in the spring (it's one incredible latte)... take a long nap in the sun and the grass... spend TIME with the dear people in my life, listening to their hearts, and connecting my heart with theirs.  essentially... i want to be, live, enjoy, and love a lot too.  

honestly, i've been amazed by God's sustaining grace in my life during this season of "doing."  i have not liked living life at mach speed.  i've complained and i've bucked and i've sulked about it... but i've been sustained.  i still have 2 feet and 2 legs to stand on... and really, even in spite of the craziness, i've been watching my heart grow more enlarged and ready to take in more of Him and the people around me.

but i do have one request... i would love it if Monday could come soon!