the color green (the real one)

for you, elisabeth... =) 

beautiful.  one day we'll sing this song in heaven with rich... and we'll dance to the Irish parts. =)

the color GREEN...

i am taken with green these days.  i haven't been able to walk by a window this week without stopping and staring and just TAKING IN all of the GREEN.  i love it.  everything had been so brown and white for so long... and while those are fine colors too... shoot, i just really missed GREEN.  and now, here it is-- everywhere.  and i just love it.

in all of my walking really slowly and staring out of windows today, i have found a question surfacing in my mind-- God created seasons... and seasons have so many different colors.  just when you think you've had enough of the brown and white of winter, comes the shining GREEN of spring.  and when you start to get itchy from the long, hot days of summer, then comes the brilliant colors and crisp weather of the fall.  and then when you find yourself ready to buckle down and hibernate for a while, well that's when the brown branches and white snow come again.  it's all so interesting.  so i found myself wondering... what does this creation say about the Creator who made it? i'm pondering this question...

the first thing that comes to mind is that He must be so creative, so diverse.  he could have just made winter, or just made fall... but He didn't.  He made 4 seasons-- all so vastly different-- and they all come with such regularity.  He's creative... He's fun... He's dependable... but He loves diversity.

second, He knows people.  oh my word, how much do our lives resemble the seasons.  winter can feel long... we burrow and hibernate and feel as "dead" as the brown branches on the trees sometimes... but then somehow, we're renewed, reborn.  and everything becomes green, flowering, alive.  our souls feel set free in new ways, and our growth is visible.  and then like summer, we enjoy, we relax, we rest... we take in the long, steady days and our soul begins to "center."  but then, like the fall, we go even deeper, become even more brilliant, as the green chlorophyll of the leaves of our lives begins to fade and the brilliance of the bright orange, red, yellow that is really within just explodes inside.  our brilliance is visible, alive.... it just shines in a way that no one can miss.

what an amazing Creator... seriously, wow!

and He's so kind.  He knows that we can be impatient creatures and that we need change.  and when we feel like we cannot handle another snowstorm, He sends the sun and the flowers.  and when we're through with the rain, He sends the heat of summer.  and when we've had enough heat, He sends the crisp breezes of fall... and when we want to burrow in a bit, it's time for winter.  he's good, He's kind... and i want to trust Him in every season... because He knows what He's doing.  and even when one season feels long, there is always another one coming... and then another.  it's a beautiful world that He made.

a great big rest

i feel like my speed of life lately has pretty much been "mach."  i've been realizing lately that the concepts of "rest" and "stillness" only seem faintly familiar to me... i can't really remember what they feel like!  it is time for me to rest... really... a big, deep, soulful rest.  only i can't yet.  i have to finish my paper.  but it is due monday-- 4 days away from today.  4 days until i can rest... how wonderful.

i have made a resolution with myself.  it is spring... and spring is beautiful... and i just want to drink it in.  REALLY drink it in.  and rest for me is being able to live life at a slow enough pace that i really can drink in what is before me.  i think that God puts His fingerprints all over so much of what is normal life for us... but to me, it doesn't have to be "normal."  even "normal" life can be revolutionary when you can see the Lord in it.

so my resolution to myself is to be kind to myself in my weariness... rest... enjoy... wear my Cliff Lee shirt and watch the Phillies and cheer really loud... take a walk through my town and stare at the strange architecture of every old house on the street if i want... go camping and just SIT by the fire... sit on the back porch and LISTEN to the evening... walk the long way on a lazy afternoon to my neighborhood coffee shop and order their "snowflake latte" in the spring (it's one incredible latte)... take a long nap in the sun and the grass... spend TIME with the dear people in my life, listening to their hearts, and connecting my heart with theirs.  essentially... i want to be, live, enjoy, and love a lot too.  

honestly, i've been amazed by God's sustaining grace in my life during this season of "doing."  i have not liked living life at mach speed.  i've complained and i've bucked and i've sulked about it... but i've been sustained.  i still have 2 feet and 2 legs to stand on... and really, even in spite of the craziness, i've been watching my heart grow more enlarged and ready to take in more of Him and the people around me.

but i do have one request... i would love it if Monday could come soon!

awakening

it appears that spring is coming.  oh how i love it.  i've walked around this week sort of in wonder at the flowers, trees, leaves, birds... seems like it's been so LONG.  i love spring more and more every year.  i walked out of my door the other morning and almost ran into a bright red cardinal... it was so the Lord reminding me that spring always comes... just like He promised that joy always comes in the morning.

i admitted to some friends the other night that it's been a hard year... for many reasons.  i can still feel the effects of some of what i've carried this year.  life--along with pain--takes time to process and work through.  for me, the time factor has not been a welcome one.  i find myself often geared up to "move on" and "get on with it," sometimes to the neglect of my own heart and the pain there.  Jesus has been so kind to stop me and say, "daughter, for your good, we will not move on yet.  we need to stay here for a little while longer."  and i pout in the corner because i do not understand... but He does.  so we stay.

but spring comes... and to me, spring means healing.  healing of wounds that i didn't even know i had... the embrace of love and grace that i so desperately need... the invitation to open myself and offer my heart to experience the embrace of others... the vulnerability to invite Jesus to be my Friend in my car rides back and forth from work, to get on my knees like a child and ask Him to show me what Abba means... the gentleness to look up and ask Him to teach me about love.  it's the willingness to let go and open wide my arms and let Him grab me and take care of me.

and if i sound like i'm "there" or like i've got it made, then i am entirely fooling you!  what i mean to say is that i hear the gentle voice calling me to go deeper into Him, into a safe place that i didn't even know existed, a place that i hardly understand yet... but i know it's time to go.  i know that life--by virtue of being life--will continue to be painful in ways that i cannot expect or prepare for from where i now sit.  this cannot stop me though from moving more deeply into Him.  joy comes in the morning... spring comes after winter... i'm thankful that this is part of His beautiful design.

without your wounds...

"without your wounds, where would your power be? it is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women.  the very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children of this earth, as can one human being broken on the wheels of living.  in love's service, only wounded soldiers can serve."
~Thornton Wilder, as told by Brennan Manning

blast from the past

I used to listen to Keith Green a ton in high school and college, but I don't think I've thought about him too much since then.  God put a Keith Green song in my head yesterday and I've been listening to him ever since.  I can't seem to turn him off!  What passion and HEART... amazing.

Friends, listen to this and be encouraged...



He's been dead since 1980... but still making an impact over 30 years later.  I want my life to be like that too.