wasting a day

I have a paper due on Monday night. A very boring one... I wish I didn't have to write it. It's no surprise that I still have not cracked open my books. I also will be speaking to the ladies' group at church on Wednesday night. That, I've been looking forward to for a long time! And I had plans to seize the day today... research, write my paper, organize my notes for Wednesday night, pull out my Bible and devotional book.

And... I've done absolutely none of those things today! I actually spent most of the day driving... Seriously, everywhere I had to go, I took the long way. I went from Barrington to Mt. Holly by way of Hammonton. You're not supposed to do that! And then somehow I found myself in "Egg Harbor something"...some town I've never heard of. And tonight, I went to a coffee shop with a backpack full of books... and really "accomplished" very little.

But the cool thing is that I really believe I was close to Jesus today... and I barely even opened my Bible. The main reason that I drove the long way everywhere is that it has been a long week and I found myself needing to open my mind and my heart to Him and let Him have access to my thoughts. I'm coming to believe that change doesn't happen just because I read all of the right books and sort out the truth in my own mind. I suppose that's a part of it... but for me, change seems to really come when I get myself away from the craziness and open myself up to Jesus. He is the only Healer I know.

So it's 9:30 on Saturday night... and I still have a paper to write and a talk to prepare. I still would love to read my Bible too. And there's a part of me that wishes that I had "accomplished" more today than I actually did. But there's another part of me that knows that my heart is more open and more at peace now... because I took the time away and did NOTHING when I needed to.

I don't really know how to best encounter God. I suppose I'm trying to figure that out! Sometimes, He shows up in a book... sometimes it's a sunset... often times, it's in a person or a verse... today, it was in my car, in the stillness, in the middle of Egg Harbor something when I almost went the wrong way down a one-way street. And I laughed... and I think He laughed too. What a cool thing to be becoming friends with God. Whoah... is that what this is? Maybe that's been the point all along... and I wonder if it's through friendship with Him that we're REALLY changed... It's truly an incredible and very humbling thing.