a day with Henri

Today is my day off... and it is wonderful.  I love days off.  It is now 11:15am... and I have already done two great things so far-- I have slept in (yes!!) and I have made myself a real omelet with eggs right from a German hen, tomatoes straight from the garden, and real Swiss cheese.  It was great.

But my best plan for the day is still to come.  I went through a hard time this past year and was surprised to find an old friend join me on my journey.  For Christmas, I was given a book called The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri Nouwen.  I immediately started reading the book and was astounded by the way that he seemed to understand my story, share my sadness, and offer me beautiful hope.  I have clung to that book for many months... and I have been thankful for the author of it.

Well, during last weekend in the Alps, I picked up another Henri book and began reading the first few pages of Life of the Beloved.  I was amazed to find that during the writing of that book, Henri lived in a small city in Germany called Freiburg... and guess what?  It just so happens that the closest city to where I currently live is... FREIBURG!!  So today, in this great day off, I am going to drive to Freiburg and spend the day with Henri.  I know he is now dead, but I'm going to imagine that he isn't.  I'm going to picture him walking those old streets and imagine what life might have been like for him during the writing of that book.  And I might even find myself a cozy corner in one of the 3 Starbucks in that city and read more of his book.

I really believe that Henri Nouwen walked with God... God knows that I want to walk with Him too... maybe if I go to the city where Henri Nouwen actually walked... well, it might be pretty amazing.  Who knows how God might just show up?

OK, I have some dishes to wash and clothes to put away... but then it's off to Freiburg for me!

begin with a Berliner

My last few days here have been flying by.  I guess days--especially busy ones--have a tendency to do that.  But in the busyness, I don't want to miss the little things... the things I love.  After talking with a dear friend tonight, I decided to start writing about those things... the goofy, special, fun, or whatever things... just the THINGS about being in another country that I especially enjoy.

So... here's # 1.  Tomorrow is my long day.  I take one day each week and work ALL day... and tomorrow is it!  But I have decided that I want to begin the day right with a cultural experience that I really love.  There is no Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks or Wawas here.  Nope... instead, there is a grocery store with a bakery right inside the door.  And they make the most amazing coffee su mit namen ("to take away").  I love it!  So tomorrow, to begin my long day, I am going to walk to the bakery and say "ein latte macchiato su mit namen bitte" ("one latte to take away please").  This bakery also makes the most amazing jelly donuts I have ever tasted-- called "Berliners."  I think I will order "ein Berliner bitte" as well.  I could be economical and eat my trusty bowl of Special K (I did find Special K here!!), but tomorrow is my long day... I think it's a good day for a Berliner. =)

Berliners taste so good that I could eat one every day if I let myself!  But I don't. =)  The last time I ordered one was on Saturday morning...  Myself and my two companions piled into the car to make our 2 hour drive to the Alps.  About 1 kilometer down the road, I bit into my Berliner (while driving), and the jelly shot out of the Berliner and into my hand.  And then somehow in trying to clean it up, I got it on my other hand too!  I learned that it's very difficult to drive a car with two hands covered in jelly.  So we weren't even out of town yet when I had to pull over and clean myself up... get myself un-sticky.  It's a funny memory. =)

So tomorrow to begin my long day, I will go to the bakery and get a latte and a Berliner... and I will be sure to have napkins nearby for when I take my first bite. =)

a twitching eye and a puffy eye

i'll be leaving on wednesday to go overseas for a little more than five weeks.  i prayed about a month ago that God would wave His big "peace be still" hands over my life for the next month... and let the planning for this trip be SMOOTH.  the past semester had been a hard and BUSY one, and i just felt too exhausted to handle anything beyond "smooth."

well, it didn't exactly happen!  there have been quite a few unexpected "bumps" during the past month...  i've done my best to navigate as best i can, but it hasn't been easy.  God, though, is funny.  at just the right time, when i'm ready to rip my own hair out (or someone else's!), He shows up in some way... and i'm reminded that i'll be fine.

today, though, i had enough!  i woke up from a nap this afternoon and i looked in the mirror... and i could tell that all was not well.  my left eye has already been twitching on and off for about a week... i think, because i just took a full 30 hour class in 3 days, on top of trying to get ready for a big trip!  (enough to make any eye twitch, maybe?!).  well, i woke up from my nap to find that not only was my left eye twitching, but my right eye was half-closed... very puffy and half-closed (i think in an allergic reaction to my friend's cat)!

i found myself haunted by images of myself on an airplane with big, puffy eyes... walking around overseas with big, puffy, twitching eyes!  i could feel panic rising... so i sat there and i looked up to heaven with my left twitching eye and my right puffy eye, and i talked to Jesus.  and i gave up... and i told Him that i would trust Him.  and i remind myself tonight that all is well because i have a really good God and a really good Father.  i continue to learn through unexpected ways that He really is entirely faithful.  so tonight i give Him my eyes... and i give Him my heart... and i give Him the next 5 weeks... i give Him all of it... because i know that He is worthy of my trust.

and He tells me now that it's time to put on a good movie and go to bed and give my twitching eye and my puffy eye a rest.  and i gratefully oblige. =)

voices of truth

I had the blessing of spending this weekend in the woods with some friends.  My very favorite part of the weekend was all of the time that we spent around the fire.  Our campsite was on a lake... so between the reflection on the lake, the starry sky, and the warmth of the campfire, I started imaging heaven.  Friends, laughter, fellowship, quiet, beauty... I just loved it.

Before we departed on Sunday morning, we spent some time passing the Bible around the fire, each sharing from our favorite Psalms.  It was beautiful... and so meaningful.  I loved how the Psalms that spoke to THEM, also spoke to ME.  It was like Jesus saying, "Daughter, you need to hear this.  Take it in.  Listen.  Be encouraged by your friends and by Me."  And so I was...

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.  I will ponder all Your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.  Your way, O God, is holy.  What god is great like our God?  You are the God who works wonders; You have made known your might among the peoples.  You with Your arm redeemed Your people."
~Psalm 77

"I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.  Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!  The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.  The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
~Psalm 34

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
~Psalm 23

"He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler.  Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place--the Most High, who is my refuge--no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.  'Because he holds fast to Me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows My name.  When he calls to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.'"
~Psalm 91

Sometimes the Word of God just speaks and there is no mistaking it.  And as I was turning the pages of my Bible just now to find and type these Psalms, I could still smell the campfire in the pages.  I love it. =)

may i never forget the gospel...

"The crucified Christ is not merely a heroic example to the church: he is the power and wisdom of God, a living force in his present risenness, transforming our lives and enabling us to extend the hand of reconciliation to our enemies."
~Brennan Manning

the color green (the real one)

for you, elisabeth... =) 

beautiful.  one day we'll sing this song in heaven with rich... and we'll dance to the Irish parts. =)

the color GREEN...

i am taken with green these days.  i haven't been able to walk by a window this week without stopping and staring and just TAKING IN all of the GREEN.  i love it.  everything had been so brown and white for so long... and while those are fine colors too... shoot, i just really missed GREEN.  and now, here it is-- everywhere.  and i just love it.

in all of my walking really slowly and staring out of windows today, i have found a question surfacing in my mind-- God created seasons... and seasons have so many different colors.  just when you think you've had enough of the brown and white of winter, comes the shining GREEN of spring.  and when you start to get itchy from the long, hot days of summer, then comes the brilliant colors and crisp weather of the fall.  and then when you find yourself ready to buckle down and hibernate for a while, well that's when the brown branches and white snow come again.  it's all so interesting.  so i found myself wondering... what does this creation say about the Creator who made it? i'm pondering this question...

the first thing that comes to mind is that He must be so creative, so diverse.  he could have just made winter, or just made fall... but He didn't.  He made 4 seasons-- all so vastly different-- and they all come with such regularity.  He's creative... He's fun... He's dependable... but He loves diversity.

second, He knows people.  oh my word, how much do our lives resemble the seasons.  winter can feel long... we burrow and hibernate and feel as "dead" as the brown branches on the trees sometimes... but then somehow, we're renewed, reborn.  and everything becomes green, flowering, alive.  our souls feel set free in new ways, and our growth is visible.  and then like summer, we enjoy, we relax, we rest... we take in the long, steady days and our soul begins to "center."  but then, like the fall, we go even deeper, become even more brilliant, as the green chlorophyll of the leaves of our lives begins to fade and the brilliance of the bright orange, red, yellow that is really within just explodes inside.  our brilliance is visible, alive.... it just shines in a way that no one can miss.

what an amazing Creator... seriously, wow!

and He's so kind.  He knows that we can be impatient creatures and that we need change.  and when we feel like we cannot handle another snowstorm, He sends the sun and the flowers.  and when we're through with the rain, He sends the heat of summer.  and when we've had enough heat, He sends the crisp breezes of fall... and when we want to burrow in a bit, it's time for winter.  he's good, He's kind... and i want to trust Him in every season... because He knows what He's doing.  and even when one season feels long, there is always another one coming... and then another.  it's a beautiful world that He made.