a twitching eye and a puffy eye

i'll be leaving on wednesday to go overseas for a little more than five weeks.  i prayed about a month ago that God would wave His big "peace be still" hands over my life for the next month... and let the planning for this trip be SMOOTH.  the past semester had been a hard and BUSY one, and i just felt too exhausted to handle anything beyond "smooth."

well, it didn't exactly happen!  there have been quite a few unexpected "bumps" during the past month...  i've done my best to navigate as best i can, but it hasn't been easy.  God, though, is funny.  at just the right time, when i'm ready to rip my own hair out (or someone else's!), He shows up in some way... and i'm reminded that i'll be fine.

today, though, i had enough!  i woke up from a nap this afternoon and i looked in the mirror... and i could tell that all was not well.  my left eye has already been twitching on and off for about a week... i think, because i just took a full 30 hour class in 3 days, on top of trying to get ready for a big trip!  (enough to make any eye twitch, maybe?!).  well, i woke up from my nap to find that not only was my left eye twitching, but my right eye was half-closed... very puffy and half-closed (i think in an allergic reaction to my friend's cat)!

i found myself haunted by images of myself on an airplane with big, puffy eyes... walking around overseas with big, puffy, twitching eyes!  i could feel panic rising... so i sat there and i looked up to heaven with my left twitching eye and my right puffy eye, and i talked to Jesus.  and i gave up... and i told Him that i would trust Him.  and i remind myself tonight that all is well because i have a really good God and a really good Father.  i continue to learn through unexpected ways that He really is entirely faithful.  so tonight i give Him my eyes... and i give Him my heart... and i give Him the next 5 weeks... i give Him all of it... because i know that He is worthy of my trust.

and He tells me now that it's time to put on a good movie and go to bed and give my twitching eye and my puffy eye a rest.  and i gratefully oblige. =)