girl meets bear.

This is something that I wrote a few days ago... I'm just getting around to posting it tonight.

I finally made it to Little Squaw Mountain yesterday.  (I wrote in an earlier post that I tried to go to Little Squaw last week but ended up on Big Squaw instead!)  I love Little Squaw... it has a beautiful trail that runs along the shores of Big and Little Moose Ponds.  The view along most of the trail is pretty magnificent.

I love the outdoors... I've actually spent the past 24 hours praying that I might someday have a chance to do the whole Appalachian Trail. =)  But yesterday, I could not help but notice that I was the only one on Little Squaw mountain... no other cars were at the trail head, no other human beings on the trail.  And I also ran into something that I found alarming-- I looked at the trail and was quite sure I saw the prints of a bear right near the prints of my own shoes.  Later, I found scat that looked like it also belonged to a bear.  I guess it's possible that the print and the scat were old and that the bear was far away from me... but I did not know for sure!  My imagination ran wild, and I was afraid. I prayed and I prayed and I recited Psalm 46 (in my head, not out loud-- so as to not startle the bear that might be lingering!!) and I pulled my determined self together and forged my way to the top.  And I made it.  And I made it the whole way down... no bears.

But my dad had told me that bears don't like water... so guess what?  I made sure that I knew where every pond and lake and stream was on that mountain.  I also periodically checked my proximity to all of those bodies of water... trying to determine how easy or difficult it might be for me to run and jump into that water if I needed to escape a bear!

I am a girl who loves nature and loves beauty and loves Jesus, but on that day, I found myself anxiously scanning the trees for bears and mentally logging the presence of all bodies of water on that mountain.  While my wilderness self forged ahead and kept telling me that I have never heard of a hiker being attacked by bears in these parts, my other self felt petrified and very aware that I was a girl alone on that mountain who had no idea where the bear might be.  I felt shaken, even after I was safely down the mountain.

So tonight, I listened as the Phillies beat the Cardinals in 10 innings (yippee!), and then I turned off the radio and I paused and I asked Jesus some questions that have been lingering in my heart since yesterday... Jesus, what do You think of bears?  Really.  And what do You think of this girl who is afraid of bears?

I think His answer is one that I already know... yet one that I can never get enough of.  I have heard Him speaking to me these words several times over the past few days.  I hope He will tell me until the day I die.  "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  O Jesus, I come.  And I find that there is no exception clause for girls who are afraid of bears. He does not ask me to conquer the fear... He asks me to hold on to Him, to follow where He leads.  I often don't know where He's leading me, but I know for sure that I would rather face the bears with Him than without Him.

So I continue to learn to trust Him.  Shoot, what a crazy road this is!  What a good road it is.  I get to climb mountains of many shapes and sizes and I get to face my bears with a very good Guide who holds me tight and leads me one step at a time.  I continue to learn to hold on to His hand and follow His leading.

when I made it to the top of Little Squaw

(if you look really closely, you can see Kineo in the distance)

the shore of Little Moose Pond, where the trail led me (and where I was ready to jump in the water if the bear came!)

the magic hour

Come climb the hill with me
Come and be still with me
Come watch the sun sink away
If you will with me

Come watch the garden grow
Down by the gravel road
Come warm your hands in the gold
Of the afterglow

Into the peace of these wild things, 
Into the wild of this grace, 
Into the grace of this blessing, 
Speak in the peace of this place...
~Andrew Peterson

Dooley and I took a walk on the railroad tonight... and we watched the sun setting around us.  We heard something rustling in the bushes nearby... I hoped it was a moose!  But it was a strange bird with a big orange feather on his head (I've got to ask my dad about that one).  I looked up and saw the two Squaw mountains in the distance.  They are calling to me... I think I'll be climbing up there again this week.  I really can't wait.

the mighty mountain

Dad and I hit the dirt road today for a new adventure!  

Destination: the Pelletier American Loggers Restaurant in Millinocket (I have learned that this is a famous restaurant from the Discovery Channel) =)  

The journey to Millinocket is about 2 1/2 hours on dirt roads... but the amazing thing is that you drive next to Mount Katahdin and the Penobscot River for much of the way.  And the day was beautiful--clear, blue sky.  I had never seen Mount Katahdin on such a clear day before.  I loved it.

We stopped several times to take pictures, go fishing, and just take it in.  What a beautiful day.

 the mighty mountain from one of Dad's favorite fishing spots on the Penobscot

 from Abol Bridge campground

I am a really blessed girl.

really see

Adventure is, by its nature, a thing that comes to us.  It is a thing that chooses us, not a thing that we choose.
~Chesterton

Today adventure came to me.  And I really do love adventure.  I drove this afternoon to hike up "Little Squaw" mountain.  It's a favorite of mine... beautiful, a shorter climb, and the only mountain that I have ever done by myself.  I have many good memories on that mountain.  The only problem was that I couldn't find it!  I drove up and down that dirt road and just could not find the trail head.  It was the strangest thing... and I found myself yelling in my car, "how do you LOSE a mountain??"  I'm smiling as I remember it.

So I ended up on "Big Squaw" mountain instead.  That trail head, I found!  I've gone up Big Squaw a few times before with my dad but never by myself.  But I think I have a determined streak in me that just does not give up easily... so up I went, up Big Squaw.

And it is BIG.  And it was HARD.  I got over a bad cold just yesterday and I underestimated how colds can linger... so there I was, wheezing my way up Big Squaw.  I felt like I stopped just as much as I walked.  I remember one moment in particular-- I was more than halfway up the mountain, and the rocks were getting higher and steeper.  I was having a hard time breathing, and I seriously began to wonder if I had gone far enough and if it was time for me to go back down.

I turned around to make that decision and I stopped dead in my tracks... because I did not realize how high I had come. I looked out and I could see... lakes, rivers, mountains, trees.  The sight was magnificent.  I was filled with new strength and I forged ahead to the top.

And on the top, I could really see...

It made me grateful for the moments when you turn around and have the chance to see how far you've come... and are filled with new strength and excitement for what is ahead.

a pic a day

... this is very fun for me.

I am on an extended break... I don't remember the last time I took a break like this.  I finished my job of almost 9 years on Friday, hopped in my car, and headed due north.  I'll be up here for the next couple of weeks before I start my new job.  This is a quite a gift for me... TIME and REST.  

There's so much up here that's so wonderful.  Stuff that takes me by surprise and makes me smile.  So I would like to tell you about it, a pic a day. =)

My mom asked me today to run to the post office for her.  I grabbed my favorite little furr-ball Dooley and we drove to the post office... but then we kept driving.  It's been raining for DAYS here and it was supposed to rain even harder today.  But on that drive, the sky cleared... the sky turned blue and the sun came out for just a bit of time.  And we saw a moose on the road!  It was so fun.  Dooley barked his head off and I laughed.

At the end of the paved road is Kokadjo.  I don't think you can really call it a "town"... really, it's just 3 or 4 buildings... but it's on a lake and it's sure beautiful.  So Dooley and I parked the car and walked along the lake for a bit.  It was great.  Then, I took a picture of this sign.  

It made me grateful for the moments when the sky clears and you get to take a walk in the sun.