dancing in the driveway

Tonight... I danced in the driveway.  I had made vegetable soup for dinner and ran out in the crisp night air to drop the can in the recycle bucket at the end of the driveway.  Except I couldn't come back in the house... I just couldn't.  Maybe it was the combination of the crisp night air, the clear sky and almost full moon, and the stillness that just seemed to surround me... I don't know... but all I could do was dance--shoeless and in my pajamas--dance around the driveway, take in the beauty, and thank Jesus for meeting me in that moment.

In my dancing, I felt the wind blow.  A strong but gentle wind blew around me... swirling as I ran and danced around.  I remembered how Jesus likened the wind to the Spirit... how He blows and swirls around us and we don't know where He comes from or where He's going.  But we listen for Him and we follow.  So tonight, He blew... and His blowing was a blessed reminder to me that He's here, present, now.

How I just want to live my whole life dancing with Him... taking Him in... letting Him take me in... and moving through this life together.

I have the feeling that my heart is being set free just a bit more deeply in these moments.  The past few months have been full of many things, but mostly pressure... I have been oh so sensitively aware of my own performance, and lack of it.  My expectations have been high and response harsh when expectations are not met.  In these times, I suppose grace has been more of a concept than a present reality.  How I've missed it.

But then come the moments when I try to take a can to the recycle bucket... and I'm completely knocked off my feet by grace.  The sky, the air, the moon, the stars, and the wind... they all whisper to me of the gifts that are mine to enjoy.  And they whisper to me of a God who shattered all expectations when He died on a cross... and crushed all pressure when He burst up from a grave.

How I love that God.  How I long to see Him but how often I miss Him when the pressures and the expectations do crowd in.  So I continue to look to heaven, strain my eyes and my heart toward Him, and ask Him to continue to show up in the simple moments of life.  And He does in the craziest of ways-- seriously, Lord, in my fuzzy green socks with a can of vegetable soup in my hand?  In the driveway?  What will the neighbors think?  But still we dance... and when I come back into the house, I am not the same girl.  Thank the Lord, I meet Him and I come back different.

I continue to believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!  Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!   ~Ps 27:13-14