gratitude

I always knew that someday I would like this song. I've always been drawn to it because of its beautiful music and profound lyrics. But something about the message of it was just a little too powerful, a little too TRUE for me. I knew that if I really bought into it, my life would change... and I didn't think I was really ready for that yet.

So today... the song came to my mind out of nowhere... and I found it and listened to it... and was deeply moved by it. It's wonderful and terrifying at the same time... because this message means that I MUST change... that I AM changing -- a beautiful thing but a very terrifying thing. It sounds trite to say that I'm learning to be content in all circumstances... it's more like I'm being led to a place of desiring to embrace ANY circumstance if it will bring me to a place of knowing Jesus more deeply.

...I'm sorta scared to say this because I'm afraid of what it might mean... but if the choice is either control or Jesus... well, shoot... I think I really want Jesus...