life raft

It's my turn to teach Bible Study on Tuesday night. I have several pages of reflections from things that God showed me while I was in Germany... I eagerly scribbled them in my excitement to share them. Amazing TRUTH, the Voice of God speaking in my own ears. What blessed times.

The tough thing is that I can't hear Him in the same way right now. The reflections that I wrote down are TRUE... but honestly, they don't FEEL true right now. I sort of just want to return to my old German balcony and SIT there... my ears didn't seem so stopped up there. I was able to LISTEN and I HEARD. I want to go back. I don't want to sit here and not hear. This is a familiar phenomenon that happens every August when I return from Germany. I just miss those sweet times.

Does Jesus change? Of course not. Why does it seem like He does? Maybe I'm the one who changes. Something happens to me when I get on that airplane and fly across the Ocean and land on foreign soil. The "stuff" that normally holds me back just seems to fall away... and I feel more free. And then I get back in that plane and return to this side of the Ocean... and the stuff somehow re-appears again.

Sometimes I wish I had a mirror that would only reflect to me the way that God sees me. Oh man... I remember what HE says... He has clothed me in garments of righteousness; He has planted me like a tree by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither; He has made me His very own planting for the display of His splendor; He delights in me as He sings His songs over me; He considers me His friend and wants to share His thoughts and plans with me; He has chosen me to be His own daughter and seated me right next to Jesus at His table.

Shoot. Thank God for truth! We all have those moments when we start to sink into the mess of wrong thinking. How I need eyes that see and ears that hear... how I need TRUTH. How thankful I am for the truth that has already infiltrated my heart... that when I start to sink, it's not long before the life raft is thrown to save me... if I choose to jump on and be saved.

Let me not be surprised by the mess that is still in me, when I so wish it wasn't. May the mess continue to remind me of my need for a Savior... and may my need draw me to gratitude that I HAVE a Savior. He came for people just like me... who can't do this "life" thing on their own... who LONG for His voice. And it will just make me all the more grateful for the precious moments when I HEAR His voice again.