trusting His heart

I love the way he says this...

"There is another great 'revealing' in our life on the road. We run our race, we travel our journey, in the words of Hebrews, before a 'great cloud of witnesses' (12:1). When we face a decision to fall back or press on, the whole universe holds its breath--angels, demons, our friends and foes, and the Trinity itself--watching with bated breath to see what we will do. The question that lingers from the fall of Satan and the fall of man remains: Will anyone trust the great heart of the Father, or will we shrink back in faithless fear?

"As we grow into the love of God and the freedom of our own hearts, we grow in our ability to cast our vote on behalf of God. Our acts of love and sacrifice, the little decisions to leave our false loves behind, and the great struggles of our heart reveal to the world our true identity: We really are the sons and daughters of God."

~John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance

I saw God today...

Without my intending it to be, I think this blog is starting to become a place for me to write about the ways in which God unexpectedly shows up in every day life. I think it's SO important for me to remember these things because when I have a bad day (or two or three), I so easily forget... Life starts to become all about me, and I forget the kindness of the Lord.

And you know what? I guess part of being human is that we are always on the verge of that happening. We don't get our way, and we're READY, just ready, to throw the grown-up version of a temper tantrum. Well, I can only speak for myself, but... Anyway, this is why I love to write about the ways that the grace of God just shows up in my life.

So, today...

a co-worker walks in to my office with two little red daisies in a green pot just for me! She didn't even know that red daisies are among my very favorites... she just told me that they reminded her of me. So kind of her...

I go outside for a few minutes to sit by the duck pond and take in the beauty of the day, and I'm sitting on the bench when two mallard ducks waddle up to keep me company. I'm not usually a fan of ducks, but these two were different. Then, a Canadian goose comes up to join them, and I REALLY don't like Canadian geese. I guess the Oriole in the tree knew that, because as soon as the goose approached me and the ducks, the Oriole sprang off the tree and flew straight into the goose's head, scaring him away! No lie. The Oriole rescued me from the goose, and then, he returned to his tree branch and sang away.

And then, it was so funny. George Strait's song "I Saw God Today" pops into my head. And I'm like, "God, are You in the Oriole?" Maybe He was... maybe He wasn't. I don't know... all I know is that I want to see Him more.

letting go

"You see, Willie Juan, the Evil One has studied you and discovered where you are most vulnerable. He has used your bad feelings about your leg and scars to tempt you to hate yourself; he is trying to steal the joy in your life. But this doesn't have to happen, if you can embrace what lies around the corner, even when it's unknown. It can be dangerous, because you will need to let go of your hold on life. You'll feel as if you're losing control, and the illusion of being in charge of your own future, of being the master of your own destiny will vanish. For the first time in your life, you will understand just how much you are loved. It's risky, without doubt--but it will set you on the road to freedom. Do you have the courage, Little One?"

~Brennan Manning, patched together: a story of my story

from a full heart...

Tonight, I am thankful for good HEART friends... dear friends who just GET me. I only have to say one word (or not even one word), and she looks at me and says, "I understand." What a blessing... Thank you, Jesus, for friends.

And... so my dear friend and I talked tonight... and whenever we talk, Jesus is just there. He just is. It's like His presence fills the room and I'm reminded yet again that I really don't belong in this world... and that the most important relationship that I have is the one that I can't see. That the most important THING that I possess right now is this intangible, unpredictable Love that somehow lives in my heart.

I guess this is what real community is meant to do... help you to open up your heart so that you can see what's really there and so that it's available for Jesus to reach in and mold and change. I thank Jesus for people who love Him enough that when I spend time with them, I can't help but be pointed to Him too.

And I pray (and I know) that the good work that He's begun in our lives will just continue and continue... that no matter what the cost, we would continue to live remembering the world that is yet to come, the world that we REALLY are meant for... that we would cling to the most important relationship that we have, even though we can't see Him... and that we would embrace and be embraced by the Love that somehow really does live inside of us. Amen...

today I am thankful for...

a funny little doctor who looks and talks just like Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor and makes me burst out laughing in the middle of the doctor's office

a kind sister who sits with me through the whole doctor's appointment and laughs at "Jerry Lewis" just as much as me! =)

1/2 price Frappucinos with extra whipped cream pouring out the hole in the lid =)

when I find myself going into "freak-out mode" and then hear the still small voice say, "I am with you... peace be still"... and then that peace starts to become mine...

loving grandparents who just decide on the spur of the moment to take me to dinner at a nice restaurant...

stars...

This hasn't been my best week... for several reasons. One being that I've been lacking sleep... which is never good! I guess I finished the semester and in my excitement, I started loading up my schedule. Too much, too soon.... When I have a bad week, I can start to get hard on myself... and before I know it, I'm shrinking into my turtle shell and pulling away from Jesus.

I know I've just begun to scratch the surface of who God is... but man, He must be so good. Because here I am, feeling guilty and trying to run into my turtle shell... but you know what? Even when I try to escape Him, I can't... He's so good that He doesn't let me get away. Thank you, Jesus, for that. I was talking with a friend on Tuesday night, and we realized that there is SO MUCH about God that we just don't know. So we decided to ask Him to show us... to just show up in our lives in whatever way He might choose. And then we agreed to tell each other about it. And you know what I'm realizing? God is everywhere. Even when you want to haul up in your little shell, He's still everywhere. We can't get away from Him... thank God.

Tonight was one of those times. I was walking from my car to the house, and it was night time and the stars were out... everywhere. I just stood in the driveway and I stared... and again, the still small voice speaks. Here's what He said...

"Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these?

He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name,

by the greatness of His might, and because He is strong in power, not one is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel,

'My way is hidden from the LORD, and my right is disregarded by my God'?

Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:26-31)

And this is the God who loves us...

Walton's Mountain

My sister Shannon and I left Friday night to take a road trip through the night (one of my favorite things)... headed to Lynchburg, VA to visit our best (and only) brother, Sam. We were on route 29, about an hour outside of Lynchburg very early in the morning on Saturday, when I spotted a road sign--"Walton's Mountain Museum, 8 miles to the left." There's one thing that few people outside of my family know about me-- I LOVE the show, The Waltons. OK, I guess it's not a secret anymore. Little did I know that by going to visit my brother in VA, I would be right in the middle of the stomping grounds of John-Boy Walton! I was ecstatic. My brother and sister were SO kind, and today, they agreed to go with me to visit the "Walton's Mountain Museum." After driving on a LONG dirt road, we arrived at the site that inspired the show "The Waltons."

It was actually quite hilarious. The "Walton's Mountain Museum" is actually a former middle school run by 2 old ladies, with about 4 of the classrooms turned into "rooms" from the original Walton house. It wasn't EXACTLY what we had in mind, but it was lots of fun. We walked down the road a little bit and found an old church, the original house where the author of the Waltons grew up, and an old country store.

So... now we know WAY more about the Waltons than we ever knew before... WAY more than Sam or Shannon cared to know, I'm sure (they didn't seem to share my level of excitement)! But we had some great laughs... and I'm sure this is an adventure that we will not forget for a LONG time.