It took me to a deep longing in my soul, to hold that place... to be the single most influential person in a life, to make life better and more beautiful for someone just because I'm in it. To be his witness, to remind him that his life matters, all of it, no matter what. We all need that. How I've longed to be that person for someone. How I've longed for someone to be that person for me.
It's a beautiful dream. A beautiful longing. The Father of my heart knows it well in me. I know it well in myself... sometimes, so well that it scares me. But I do love that dream.
Yet, I often find myself putting on Abraham's sandals and walking up the long dusty road to Mt. Moriah... where I go to lay that dream on the altar. Not because I want it to die. More than anything, I want it to live and take real, living form in my life. I suppose I go to Mt. Moriah in faith... "Lord, here's the dream. I think it's a dream You gave me." I remind Him that He's the Giver of dreams, and I ask Him to be the Shepherd of this dream and of the heart that holds it.
I suppose I'm still up on that Mt. Moriah... still preparing the sacrifice, still talking to Him, heart wrenching over the meaning of the sacrifice.
But I remember that He has spoken an end to this story... I know of the ram. The unexpected provision. The reconciliation after the sacrifice. The life in the expectation of death. The joy in the anguish.
I don't know the end of my story. And standing on my Moriah, I wonder what He is asking of me. I ask Him, "What do You want me to do?" I raise the knife, but He does not ask me to lower it. Instead, He speaks of the ram. Provision. Reconciliation. Life. Joy. These have not come to me in the form of a person... yet... but they do come to me every day, in the form of so many different things. Lately, it has been the kind smile and flower from a favorite old professor. The kindness of a friend at just the right time. Words of truth sent to my heart straight from God. A sunset the peeks above the trees in my office window and beckons me to run outside and sit and be in it.
He only asks me to believe. That He is the Giver of good gifts... the Lover of our souls... the Father of our hearts, the Maker of our noses, the Giver of our dreams (thanks, Rich). Moriah is a hard place to be, but it is a place where He is and where He speaks.
And He tells me this...
No distrust made {Abraham} waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised. That is why his faith was "counted to him as righteousness." But the words "it was counted to him" were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in Him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification. (Romans 4)
Blessed be the God who meets with us at Moriah.
